Thanksgiving Twitches

I am exhausted. You know that kind of delirious exhaustion that exhibits itself in the uncontrollable twitching of strange little muscles that you didn’t even realize could be tired? There is one in my big toe – there it goes again, yelling at me in mad sign language to stop writing and just go to bed. (I’m sure you agree with my toe.) Exhaustion allows you to think these thoughts; as well as write them. It is absurd to contemplate involuntary bodily functions. I took a workshop last week where we learned the part of the brain responsible for this. Then we learned the part of your brain that remembers what you learn. Right now, I forget both of them. One’s already asleep and the other is running amok. I feel I am getting stupider by the minute.

I think that I remember that the same amino acide found in turkey, is the same that is secreted into the body during a male orgasm. Tryptophan. Not to trivialize the abundant benevolence of the season or anything, but no wonder so many people like Thanksgiving. It’s like one big edible orgasm. My dog ate turkey and even he is having snoringly sweet dreams. Fucking smelly dreams mind you, but good ones. Me? I think that I will die in my sleep tonight. Tomorrow the forensic team will deduce that I suffocated myself in the night with my pillow to prevent asphyxiation by way of dog farts. Damn double edge dilemmas. Stupid involuntary body functions.

If I don’t die tonight, then I am sure that I will read this tomorrow, shake my head, and think that tryptophan must also lead to rampant reduced inhibition. I will blame my toe; and evolution while I'm at it. There must be a more advanced signal for over tiredness, then this ridiculously uneccessary tonsil-like twitching.